I have started my day in a variety of ways over the years, from bounding out of bed late from hitting the snooze button too many times, to meditating, to sitting in the hot tub at an ungodly hour with my husband.  I have discovered through this process that how I start my day has a significant impact on not only how the rest of my day unfolds, but my how my life unfolds as well.

Several years ago, I began creating a morning spiritual practice, or sadhana, to support me in my desire to live a more authentic and peaceful life.  This practice has evolved to meet my needs, and has included various types of meditation, sipping a cup of coffee watching the sunrise, yoga, drawing, and journaling morning pages. The unifying element is more important than the activity; the unifying element is aligning body, mind, emotions, and spirit to support me in my daily life.

My current routine has several components that support me:

1. When I first awake, I connect to the deep stillness that abides in each of us by sensing my inner body, my presence. This is a practice I started after reading, “The Power of Now,” and only takes a minute or so.  It connects me deeply to the present moment and relaxes me.
2. I then gently rinse the sleep out of my eyes and mouth with an Ayurvedic tradition of washing face and mouth. 
3. After that, I go to my own sacred space and read a daily lesson from “The Book of Awakening: Having the Life You Want by Being Present to the Life You Have,” by Mark Nepo.  This was one of Oprah’s Ultimate Favorite Things, and I have to agree with her – it is one of mine as well.  The lessons are poetic, beautifully written, thought provoking, and short. Great for a little self-reflection.
4. Next, I read a passage from “The Power of Now,” by Eckhart Tolle.  This was the book that sparked my spiritual transformation, and I return to it because it still resonates so deeply with me and returns me to that place of utter peace and gratitude each day.
5. Then I capture what I am grateful for in a gratitude journal. I list at least 6-7 things for which I am grateful. In my experience, gratitude is one of the most powerful states of being, one that heals, calms, and creates more good in my life and that of others. 
6. Finally, I spend 5 minutes doing the Nia 5 Stages, a routine that stimulates all major joints in the body, aligns chakras, creates space in the vertebrae, and prepares the body for movement throughout the day. See a video of it here.
   

Together this practice takes me about 30 minutes and I don’t feel like myself if I don’t do it. Sometimes I go through a phase where I abandon my sadhana for a time, and I always notice that the quality of my life very slowly but perceptibly declines without it.  I start to feel dis-connected, dis-satisfied, and dis-eased in my body, mind, emotions, and spirit.  So, inevitably I return, and re-connect to that which is larger than me.

Since moving to Brazil, I have had many opportunities to test and sometimes re-learn my spiritual lessons.  A few years ago, I decided that I did not want to create anymore suffering for myself, and therefore for those around me.  I learned that to accomplish this whenever I found myself in an undesirable situation, I had only 3 sane choices: accept it, change it, or leave it.  Anything else (complaining, worrying, and any other form of negativity) only poisoned my own inner space which was then reflected to those around me. Since then, I have had many opportunities to practice this approach and have made each of these choices more than once:

1. Accept it – this is where I always begin. Can I accept this situation and stop resisting the reality of what already is?  Much of our suffering is self-created by resisting what already IS.  By accepting what is, I mean treating it as if I had chosen it myself.  Moving to Brazil was NOT my first or even desired choice. But it was clear that we were supposed to come here, so I chose to accept it as if I had chosen it.  On bad days, I remind myself that I know I am SUPPOSED to be here – maybe not why yet, but I embrace this choice as my own. And I often find that when I can truly accept a situation, things have a way of getting better. This alone has made my life immeasurably better.
2. Change it – If I can’t accept the situation, my next choice is to try to change it, without complaining.  This means addressing the situation with whomever I need to, respectfully.  For example, I have been taking Portuguese lessons for over 6 months and found that recently I was dreading going to my lessons 3 times per week.  I realized that somehow they weren’t working for me, so I had a conversation with my instructor to help me determine what wasn’t working for me and we changed the format of my lessons to meet my evolving needs. 
3. Leave it – finally, if I can’t accept or change the situation, I leave it, apologetically. For me, it is better than staying in negativity that I am not able to let go of.  By the time I reach this stage, I know I have done my best and that leaving is the best option for me.  I take responsibility for my one precious life and my inner space by saying a gracious NO. When I quit my job in California to return home to Michigan, this was where my decision came from. I spoke what was true for me, tried my best to minimize suffering of those involved, and left in peace and complete clarity.
   

The knowledge of these 3 choices is powerful. Without it, we can feel lost, adrift, or in a downward spiral of negativity when things don’t happen the way we want them to. And I do believe that reducing my own suffering has a major impact on those around me, for when I am suffering I have little capacity to be empathetic, generous, and present with others. 

Okay, so we’ve been here now for 6 months.  Our next door neighbors just received their shipment of household goods yesterday, which made me realize how far my life has come since we arrived.  I really had no idea that the transition would take SO long to begin to have what feels like a real life here, but somehow I’ve managed to adapt and now have begun really enjoying my life.

But I do mean ADAPT, and that began with a CHOICE to enjoy living here. There are many expats who don’t, and I didn’t want to be one of them.  However, here are the top 3 things I’ve had to overcome to enjoy life here:

1. The Brazilian concept of time – Brazilians take fashionably late to a new level.  Traffic is horrible here, but I sometimes think they use it as an excuse.  To maintain my sanity, I avoid doing things with people who are consistently REALLY late.  Also, nobody is really in a hurry to do anything, very different from my American approach. Until I surrendered to Brazilian timing, I only frustrated myself and those around me trying to change what can’t be changed. And, after an unacceptably long time for me, things are starting to happen here for me!  I’m teaching Zumba classes, and getting calls about more classes (but I’m very careful to adopt a “we’ll see” attitude to avoid returning to the frustrated phase of my transition).
2. A different level of civilization – I’ve had numerous conversations with my Portuguese teachers about this topic.  In general, there’s a prevalent lack of respect for others in Sao Paulo culture (maybe it’s true in any big city?).  For example, walking on the sidewalk here, many people who approach you do NOT give way or make space for you to pass.  They just keep walking. As in right into you. The first time this happened to me, I was shocked!  Get them behind the wheel of a car, and it just gets worse.  I suspect a significant portion of traffic here is due to people doing whatever they want on the road as opposed to what makes sense and is civilized.  Basically, it’s jungle rules; you can turn from any lane, stop in the middle of the road to talk to someone, create lanes where there are none, and run others off the road. I’ve learned to drive very vigilantly, but never in a hurry.
3. Loss of a Sense of Personal Safety – This is something I completely took for granted living in small town Midland, Michigan. One of those things that you don’t know you miss until it’s gone. It’s like you can never fully relax here, because you need to be vigilant of your surroundings at ALL times to prevent being robbed or potentially kidnapped. Most of the people I’ve met here that have been here very long have had something stolen (car, wallet, watch, etc.) For that reason, the locals here think I’m crazy to walk to my Portuguese lessons, but I have realized that I need the fresh air and to walk.  I’ve just learned how to be VERY aware of who is around me, to blend in, and to heed my intuition. Driving at night is so dangerous that it is socially acceptable to run stoplights, creating yet another set of issues.  We are extremely lucky to have a bulletproof car, which is an experience in and of itself.  I love that car WAY beyond what a person should, but it ensures my safety as long as follow the rules of driving it (never EVER roll the windows down).  
   

And five other minor annoyances that still get me sometimes:

1. Unpredictable supply at the grocery store- we have learned to stock up because you never know when the grocery store will have your favorite product or not!
2. Noise – at first this was a bigger issue for me – horns, dogs, airplanes, trucks, some bizarre bird that I still can’t determine what it is or where it lives – I started using a white noise machine to sleep at night, which has helped a lot!
3. Hang-ups – a holdover from earlier times, when people call you on the cell phone here they won’t leave a message because then they have to pay for the call.  They let it ring 2-3 times and then hang up before the voice mail kicks in!
4. Lack of good Mexican food – this one almost made it to the Top 3!  I really, really miss Mexican food…margaritas not so much, because caipirinhas have taken their place as my favorite drink.
5. Traffic – this could easily be in the Top 3, but we have arranged our lives so that we avoid most of the traffic that others experience.  We chose a house that is located less than 10 minutes to the office for Luis, with little to no traffic.  We usually only go out on weekends, when the city streets are empty.  Of course, sometimes the city gets it revenge, as the only thing more unpredictable than grocery store supplies is the traffic.  One day your way is clear, the next you can sit without moving for half an hour, for no apparent reason.
   

My life here is VERY different than the one I lived in Michigan, however I am viewing it as an opportunity to explore a different lifestyle – and am loving getting to dress up and go out to an endless supply of great bars and restaurants and museums…

I recently returned from vacation, happily having completely wiped out all my prior detox benefits.  I returned feeling sluggish, bloated, and blah, albeit more relaxed.  I wondered, why do I do this to myself? It’s like I sometimes throw everything out the window, after having worked so hard to get to a good place…

Luckily I happened to be reading a brand new book on the science of change, “Change Anything.”  It’s by the same guys who wrote the Crucial series (Conversations, Confrontations), in which I am trained.
Know what I learned?  According to the newest behavioral science on personal change, in most cases we are blind and outnumbered when it comes to changing our habits long term.  That’s why diets don’t work long term, rehab often doesn’t work long term, etc. Turns out it’s NOT a matter of willpower – there are actually six sources of influence affecting our behaviors, most of which we are not even aware of!  That makes us blind.  And even when we try to change, we are usually outnumbered, because often willpower is our only tool, and that makes us outnumbered, as that is only one of the six sources.  

So, after studying this fascinating book, I am now creating my comprehensive change plan to lose the 10 lbs. I gained back on vacay and keep it off long term.  I am learning to use ALL my sources of influence in my FAVOR, instead of against me!

If you are interested in learning more, go to http://www.changeanything.com/home  and watch the Science video on the experiment performed at the Change Anything Labs on influencing kids to spend their money versus saving it.  Cute but powerful!

If you have tried unsuccessfully to change a habit, maybe this is something to explore? What could be working against you that you don't even know about?

I noticed yesterday many Facebook posts about 9/11, with most saying something to the effect of “We’ll never forget” and “Honor those who died”.  Beautiful sentiments and I’m sure very well intentioned. But it got me wondering if that fateful day has truly changed people, and then I contemplated how it has changed me.

The actual day of September 11th has been a hallmark for me for 18 years, as it is my anniversary with my husband.  We always used to joke that we’d never forget our anniversary, given the 9-1-1 date. For the first few years after 9/11/2001, it felt weird for us to celebrate, but we tried to anyway.

In many ways, 9/11 was a catalyst for me.  Before 9/11, I had a distant relationship with God, not giving much thought to life’s meaning for me.  After 9/11, I went searching for answers.  Answers to why it happened, and how it happened. Answers to what it meant for me personally.  What I discovered was that without a belief in something larger than myself, catastrophes like 9/11 made me feel small, powerless, and afraid.

So I went searching for God again, by visiting the church in Detroit where Marianne Williamson was the spiritual director. I had read her book, “A Return to Love,” and it resonated with me. She spoke often about “A Course in Miracles,” a self-study spiritual curriculum that aims at assisting readers in achieving spiritual transformation. The book describes a non-dualistic philosophy of forgiveness and includes what are meant to be practical lessons and applications for the practice of forgiveness in one's daily life. Marianne’s sermons inspired me and comforted me, and I began to seek out a relationship with God again.

After some time, I actually did “A Course in Miracles” myself, a one-year endeavor, and found that it powerfully changed my beliefs. I learned about the concept of the ego, and personally witnessed what my life is like with it in charge. Since then, I have expanded greatly my concept of God, based on a radical spiritual awakening I experienced 4 years ago while living in California.

So, in essence, 9/11 changed the trajectory of my life, although I personally knew no one who perished.  I allowed it to change me, to follow the message I heard from what occurred. And that message has led me to a deeper spirituality and connection to God and my fellow humans.

How about you?  How did 9/11 change you?

So today I went to take my medical exam to get my Brazilian Driver’s License. This is the last of the bureaucracy (that I know of) that I need to take care of to live in Brazil.  If you are asking why you need a medical exam for a drivers’ license in Brazil, then you clearly are not aware of the industry that is medical exams here.  You need a medical exam for most things you want to do to live here: get a job, join a gym, get a driver’s license, go to college….the list is long! 

I recently had to go through a medical exam to be hired by the gym where I’ll teach Zumba and hopefully Nia.  This exam was a joke.  The doctor basically examined my questionnaire and sent me on my way (of course after I waited an hour to meet with her).  

So today, I was expecting more of the same.  I was relieved when I arrived at the clinic and there was no one in front of me in line.  The friendly receptionist took all my documents (this list is long too!), and had me sign at least 8 different sheets of paper (which I would soon discover were the separate parts of the exam.)  She then led me to another room where she handed me a test. A TEST?!?!  No one told me there was a test!  It basically had 40 pages of symbols, and on each page I was to choose the correct symbol to complete the puzzle.  

Crap!  I was already exhausted, having not slept well due to thunderstorms and too many glasses of wine while out with my friend Courtney.  Now I was expected to complete what turned out to be several different intelligence tests. At first, the answers were easy, but I soon discovered the puzzles became progressively harder.  By question #27 I found myself flipping through the remaining questions in bewilderment.  How did this apply to getting a drivers license???

When I finally completed my puzzle test, a nice lady who turned out to be the psychologist came in and gave me another kind of puzzle to keep me busy while she graded my first one.  In this test, I had to look at a set of symbols and go through about 50 rows marking all the symbols that were the same as the originals.  This time she only gave me 5 minutes! 


Thank god for yoga – my concentration allowed me to complete this test in 4 minutes.  Then, because I think she just wanted to challenge me, she gave me a harder one, saying, “You only have 4 minutes to finish this one.”  On this page were various road signs with numbers between 1 – 50 and I had to sequentially mark each number in order.  Luckily, my concentration won again and I impressed her by finishing in less than 4 minutes. 

By this time I think she just wanted to study me, so she took me to another room where she began conversing with me, asking me questions about my diet, my hobbies, my education, my profession (all in Portuguese, mind you.)  How nice!  I thought, hoping we were going to finish soon.  Then I noticed that she was making notes on another sheet I had signed, and I realized that she was INTERVIEWING me to determine my mental state! This wasn’t a nice conversation!  This was an evaluation!

During my interview we discovered that we actually have a lot in common, and she began telling me about her daughter who dances ballet and went to New York.  We compared detox diets and our favorite smoothie recipes. I’m pretty sure this was not part of the exam.

Then, having disarmed me, she administered a set of bizarre tests of my hand/eye coordination, making me replicate a variety of different lines while she blocked my view of my hand.  She claimed that she could discern from this test whether a person was depressed or anxious.  She told me I did well, although she carefully hid the results from me.
Finally, she seemed satisfied that I was not too crazy to drive.  To which I responded, don’t you have to be a little crazy to drive here?  And she responded ironically that she’s too afraid to drive here and hasn’t in years!

Then she told me to go upstairs to see the doctor.  By this time, quite honestly, I was expecting to receive a gynecological exam. Luckily the doctor only asked me a few questions, took my blood pressure, and tested my vision. He sent me back downstairs with my results, which were verified and I was finally sent on my way, AFTER 2.5 HOURS OF TESTING THERE!

After I walked out the door, I realized I was completely exhausted – both from speaking Portuguese the entire time and from being unexpectedly and rigorously tested in so many areas.  I couldn’t believe what I’d just been through – something akin to being tested to be a Federal Agent, I imagined.  But at least it made for a great blog!!

I recently discovered something powerful about myself.  I’ve always known that I am an introvert, meaning that I gather energy by being alone, but recently I also discovered that I’m an empathic emotional personality.  This helped explain my avoidance of crowds, noise, and negative energy.  What I discovered about myself is that I have a tendency to absorb the energy around me, positive or negative. 

To feel centered in our crazy world, I need to learn to set boundaries and honor that truth.  Whatever others feel, I feel much more strongly at times.  Negativity, noise, and fear feel like an exhaustive assault to me. I think that's why moving to the giant city of Sao Paulo has felt like such an adjustment for me. Therefore I have learned to counter these things with lots of quiet time to restore my balance. I have also learned to say “No” to things that don’t feel right for me.

Learning this about myself has helped me develop strategies to honor and take care of myself. Could you be an empath too? Answer the following questions:

•   Have I been labeled as “too emotional” or “sensitive”?
•   If a friend is distraught, do I start feeling it too?
•   Are my feelings easily hurt?
•   Am I emotionally drained by crowds and require time alone to revive?
•   Do my nerves get frayed by noise, smells, or excessive talk?
•   Do I prefer taking my own car places so that I can leave when I please?
•   Do I overeat to cope with emotional stress?
•   Am I afraid of becoming engulfed by intimate relationships?

If you answered yes to more than three of these questions, you have found your emotional personality.  For more information on this and the other emotional personalities, pick up the book, “Emotional Freedom: Liberate Yourself from Negative Emotions and Transform Your Life,”  by Judith Orloff.

My tenuous relationship with Zumba began when I counted the difference in the number of students between local Zumba classes and my Nia classes. I admit I felt envious of the number of people Zumba seemed to reach.  I had tried it myself before certifying in Nia, and before Zumba was such a phenomenon; I chose Nia because Zumba seemed one-dimensional and lacked the depth that Nia brought to my life. I dismissed it as such.

Then it became a phenomenon. I began to envy its success, yet kept telling myself that I didn’t see why people loved it so much!  I went to one local teacher’s class who regularly has 150 students, and was in awe at what her students would suffer through in order to do her class (no air conditioning, long lines, crowds, etc.)  Undeniably she was a great teacher, but still….  

At one point I attempted to “Zumba-fy” my Nia somewhat, but that felt unfulfilling as well.  I was trying to be something I wasn’t. Finally, I surrendered and just kept doing my own thing in Nia.  

Then we received the news last December that we were being transferred to Sao Paulo, Brazil.  On our house-hunting trip I sought both Nia and Zumba classes and was not surprised to discover that Nia did not exist, and VERY surprised to discover that essentially Zumba didn’t either. I found one local teacher only, and went to her class.  I also saw a huge opportunity, because I believed that Zumba would be very successful in Brazil when it arrived.  I also knew that Zumba was taught with visual vs. verbal cues, which meant that I didn’t need to speak Portuguese to teach it.

I reservedly signed up to get certified. Prior to going, I started going to various Zumba classes to see if my old assumptions were possibly incorrect.  Unfortunately I discovered many poor Zumba teachers (not able to cue or keep a beat, low energy, etc.)  I went to my training with little hope.  

My trainer led us through a master class to begin our day, and it was the best Zumba class I’ve ever attended.  Suddenly I felt SO inspired!  If I could teach like her…then THAT would be something!  For the first time I got why people love Zumba – it was SO fun, and Zumba had changed – now there was much more than just the salsa and meringue and cha-cha.  There was Reggaeton, and Bollywood and Belly!

I learned so much from my Zumba trainer that has made me a better movement teacher overall.  Sometimes I’ve felt in Nia that our approach is a little serious and “this is what’s good for you” and Zumba I think is better at giving people what they want – fun.  Zumba has stretched me as a Nia teacher to create more lightness and fun and less seriousness in my classes.  Additionally, the approach to music and playlists in Zumba is lighter and less serious too.  This has helped me stretch outside my Nia routine box to play more with music and creating my own routines in Nia, which as a Blue Belt I have the skills to do.  To create a great connection with students, Zumba advises teaching while facing them, even with a mirror.  Not all Zumba teachers do it.  I do.  In Nia, I did it very little.  I have begun experimenting with facing students more, which feels a little strange in Nia, but I can feel a different kind of connection with students. Finally, the cueing in Zumba is supposed to be mostly visual – the focus is on dancing to the music.  This made me realize that I talk more than is necessary in my Nia classes, and I have begun speaking less and dancing more.

The learning has not been all one way, however.  I am so glad to have my foundation in Nia for teaching Zumba.  I can see the multitude of potentials for injuries and burnout in Zumba, much more than in Nia.  I teach Zumba without the fastest music and without a lot of jumping because that feels better to my own body.  I also simplify the choreography a lot, based on the words of my Zumba trainer – “People want to feel successful.  If they can follow you, they will feel successful and come back for more.  If they can’t they probably won’t.” Finally, I add a small element of FreeDance, and sometimes a whole Nia song in my Zumba classes, especially during the cool down. The element of joy, I believe, comes in letting go just a little bit, and experiencing a moment of freedom, which is the hallmark of Nia. My intention is that my students in both Nia and Zumba experience fun, joy, and relaxation while getting a great workout.

If you change nothing else, simply opting for a nutrient-dense liquid breakfast and eating a lighter dinner can change your life…  My personal favorite from the clean program, this smoothie fuels me for hours and tastes great!

Ingredients

• ¼ cup almond butter
• 1 teaspoon ground cardamom (optional)
• 1 cup frozen mango
• 1 ½ cups pure water or almond milk
• 1Tbsp. ground flax seed for fiber

Preparation
Blend all ingredients together until smooth.  Makes 1-2 servings.  I make it one morning, and finish it the next.

Maybe it’s my age, but I must admit I’ve become a real sleep diva in the past few months. It started with our mattress a few years ago – I am now addicted to a Tempur-pedic and have a hard time sleeping on anything else.  Next came the quest for the perfect sheets.  I found those online at Ru-Val linens – the softest sheets I have ever slept on.  Finally, I needed the perfect pillows – 2 for my head and 2 bolsters for each side to feel really cozy and supported.

Then, I began to notice that I was sleeping much lighter than I used to, waking up with small noises (although my husband’s occasional snoring cannot, under any circumstances be considered a small noise!).  I tried earplugs, but they hurt my ears after a few hours, which also woke me up.  I tried another style of earplugs that cover your ears, but those left my ears sweaty, which was just gross.

I had no issues falling asleep, but couldn’t stay asleep. This had never happened to me before.  And I got to see what life is like sleep-deprived.  I don’t see how people can do it.  I am completely irritable and unfocused with less sleep than I need (and I need a good 8 hours).  Thus, I began my search for a good night’s sleep.

Our move to Sao Paulo did not help.  I slept outside my own bed for over 3 months, in a variety of different locales.  Each place I slept gave me new challenges in getting a good night’s sleep.  At my dad’s house, my stepmom introduced me to a white noise machine, to which I am also addicted now.  I discovered lavender spray at the spa, which I also use to induce a restful night.  I cried, literally, when our bed finally arrived in Brazil, and I had my first night of good sleep in months.

And, ultimately the CLEAN program was the final straw.  It seems that what I eat DOES make a difference in how I sleep (no alcohol is best, but who wants to live like that all the time?)

Which all means that I have become a sleep diva. Each night, the ritual to get good sleep begins and I hope for the best. Sometimes it works, and sometimes it doesn’t.  But I feel validated now – I am reading the book “Emotional Freedom” by Judith Orloff and in her section about the power of dreams she advocates taking whatever steps you need to get good rest, including many of the ones I now make.

Does this make me a real princess?  I’ve always wanted to be one…