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Why I Love to Shop at the Feira

Stephanie — Tue, 31 Jan 2012 13:21:30 GMT

There are many things that have surprised me living in Sao Paulo and the weekly feira, or street market, is one of them. After months of doing my grocery shopping at local grocery stores (and always leaving dis-satisfied), I decided to try my neighborhood feira.

Luckily, my feira is close, and small (the large ones are too loud, crowded, and big for me). The first thing that struck me was the beautiful presentation of the fruits and vegetables. As my husband would attest, I’m not normally a huge fan of fresh veggies, but these called to me – they were art!

I quickly learned to build relationships with my vegetable lady and fruit guy – for they could not only choose the perfect pieces for me (say, depending on when I wanted to eat it), but also would send me home with “brindes,” or free pieces to try. There’s the lime guy, the banana guy, the egg guy, the coconut guy, and the chicken guy.

At first, I walked straight past the meats, afraid of the thought of eating something that has sat out all day. But I finally caved and purchased some chicken one day, and it was the tastiest meat I have ever eaten in my life. Juicy. Bursting with flavor. Then, slowly, I kept migrating my purchases to the feira – eggs, biscoitos de povilho (Brazilian version of chips), trash bags – until I only go to the grocery store now for the things I can’t buy at the feira (milk, water, bread).

And also, speaking of food, one of my favorite things to eat in the world resides at the feira – pastel. These luscious little fried pockets contain ooey-gooey cheese, and at my feira such delicacies as arugula, bacon, and cheddar or broccoli, parmesan, and bacon. Topped with hot sauce and the homemade cole slaw/pico de gallo mix they call vinagrete, there is nothing more sublime.

But maybe even more important than the quality of the food at the feira, is the atmosphere. People are friendly, it doesn’t feel rushed, and well, the guys all yell “Hey, Beautiful!” at me. Of course, they do it to every woman, but my ego really enjoys it nonetheless.

Especially from the parking guy, who shakes me down for a couple of Reais to park on the street (which is free, by the way), and who carries my heavy load for me as he asks me where I’m from, tells me how beautiful I am, and how awesome the U.S. is. I am a sucker, I know it, but at this point paid kindness is still kindness.

The Beach Companion

Stephanie — Fri, 27 Jan 2012 14:50:38 GMT

I just returned from 3 days alone at the beach on the northern coast of Sao Paulo state in Brazil (pictures here). It was just the break from the city, and my life that I needed to “let the mud settle” as they say. No TV, no radio, no phone – only me and some Eckhart Tolle meditations to keep me company.

Until my last day at the beach. I settled into my beach chair and umbrella on the beautiful and as yet uncrowded, space on the beach. I was listening to a meditation, when suddenly I felt something licking my hand. Startled, I opened my eyes and saw a dog gently lick my hand, and then lay down in the shade created by my umbrella. It was as if he was asking my permission to share my shade. At first unsettled, I soon realized that he was hurting nothing by laying there, so I let him share my space with me.

He laid there with me all day, sleeping. He was not a cute pooch by any means – mangy and not terribly skinny but not cute either. He seemed exhausted, and didn’t even stir when I carefully got up to go into the ocean for a short swim. Keeping an eye on him while I was in the water, I secretly hoped he would not leave because I was not there, and that no one would bother him there (stray dogs are not treated very kindly here, in general).

When I became hungry in the afternoon I got up to go to the beach kiosk to get something to eat, and bought both of us hot dogs and a fried pastel with cheese to share. When I told the woman at the kiosk that I was taking one of the hot dogs back for him, at first she laughed at me, and then she asked me if I thought he’d want mustard and ketchup on his. We decided that plain was probably better, and she ended up bringing a glass of water back for him to my spot because I couldn’t carry it all myself.

It turns out that he was hungry, but much thirstier. After I made 2 more trips back to refill his water glass, he and I were both finally able to relax again. He very carefully took each bite I offered him (rather than let his food land in the sand). He seemed much more alert then, after eating and drinking.

Such a gentle creature; I gently pet his head and told him he was a good boy.

By this time, we were becoming something of a spectacle. The guy from the kiosk where I had purchased the food came over to ask me if I needed anything else, and I asked for 1 more cup of water for my dog friend. When he returned a few minutes later, he carried with him a bowl of water AND a whole tin bowl of food with beans, rice, and chicken and set it down in front of the dog, who began to gingerly eat it. I thanked him and he told me that he knew this dog and he used to be bigger and beautiful before his life on the street. Then a nearby family on the beach sent over their leftovers for the dog to eat as well.

By this time, I was crying. Here, I was experiencing something that I had yet to experience in my time here in Brazil – the kindness of strangers. In that moment I realized that I had somehow lost my faith in humanity since moving here and that the dog was my spiritual teacher, showing me the potential goodness of humans. I happened to have my Animal Medicine cards with me, and I looked up the meaning of dog medicine. The power of dog medicine is to give, despite the lack of returned kindness or response from others. According to the text, even when beaten or mis-treated, the dog returns, only seeking to serve and to be loved. It does this not out of stupidity, but from a deep and compassionate understanding of human shortcomings.

Ahhh…. that seemed to be MY lesson. Compassion and understanding toward human shortcomings. That has been in short supply for me lately, and I miss it.

So, as it turns out, the dog gave more to me than I to him. By taking the risk to reach out to me, he re-ignited other people's generosity, as well as my own. At the end of the day, apparently refreshed and rested, the dog arose, stretched and with one last look at me, trotted off down the beach.

Into Great Silence

Stephanie — Sun, 22 Jan 2012 12:02:52 GMT

In times of agitation or feeling unsettled, I have learned to retreat....into silence. So this week I will spend some days in silence. I do this when I have lost myself in the world, in the things of form, in order to re-connect with stillness and peace, and find my clarity.

I have done this retreat several times in my life, but not since moving to Sao Paulo. This city, it seems, is challenging for even thinking about it. But at this moment I now have the opportunity with less classes and the house to myself for a few days.

What prompted or reminded me to do this was an article I read in the NY Times recently called, "The Joy of Quiet." I was completely fascinated by the studies mentioned in the article on how much information we consume and how it's actually changing our brains and the way think. So fascinated that I bought the book, "The Shallows" mentioned in the article to learn more. (More about the book in a later blog.)

In the article, he mentions that the more we have to connect, the more desperate we are to unplug. Is it true? Are we desperate to unplug? I don't see that. As an introvert, I naturally resist connecting, but it seems to me that many are addicted to being "connected," and maybe don't even realize it.

So, this week I will dis-connect - from phone, TV, internet, conversations - anything that distracts me from my inner voice and my ability to listen to it. I'll let you know what waits on the other side....

Reaching Out

Stephanie — Thu, 19 Jan 2012 11:20:45 GMT

It seems my lesson this week is about reaching out. In my lesson a couple of days ago in “The Book of Awakening,” there was a parable about the spider and the sage. In it, a wise old man sees a spider struggling in the water and rescues him, placing him safely back on the earth. Just as he is releasing the spider, it bites him. The next day, the man again sees the spider struggling, again rescues him, and again the spider bites him. After the third time this has happened, the spider finally asks the man, “Why do you keep saving me? Can’t you see that I will bite you every time because it’s what I do?” The sage answers him, “Because it’s what I do.”

The lesson is that although there are many reasons to reach out in kindness, the most compelling is that it is our spiritual nature. Which I understand conceptually. But it is not my experience right now. After having been bitten several times recently, I unlike the wise sage, feel like withdrawing from picking any spiders up. I have lost contact, temporarily, with my nature to reach out in kindness. Sometimes it feels as if reaching out is a mistake.

Is it?

The lesson in the book says that the reaching out is more important than the bite. The author says he’d rather be fooled than not believe. Deep in my heart I know the same is true for me - that I can’t and wouldn’t want to change my optimistic, see what’s good in people nature. It is my nature too. However, I don't think it wise to keep picking up the same spider that has bitten me before. Isn't there another parable about that????

So then, what is my lesson? Maybe it’s about forgiveness and acceptance of others exactly as they are, bites and all. Maybe it's about learning whom to trust and forgiving the rest. Maybe it's about looking at my expectations and lowering them, at least here in Sao Paulo.

Returning Home

Stephanie — Mon, 09 Jan 2012 14:15:52 GMT

During times of agitation, like I am experiencing now, I feel unsettled and I don’t like it. I find myself looking for ways to avoid the discomfort of not knowing how to change my life to return to joy and peace. I am not patient. Mostly my mind tends to strategize, to play out different scenarios to see if any would be better than what I am currently doing – should I cancel ALL my classes and spend a month at the beach? What if I stopped teaching Zumba and only taught Nia? Maybe I should only teach close to my house so I am not dealing with traffic every day? You get the picture.

So I was on the Eckhart Tolle website and watched a video by another teacher there, Kim Eng. And she talked about agitation in a way that really resonated and comforted me. She said that agitation – the definition of which is to stir things up – occurs for a reason. It’s part of the process that leads to clarity, but often we want so much to escape the discomfort of it, that we don’t let it do its work. We are fearful of this discomfort because we project it into the future and believe that we will always feel this way.

So true for me. It’s so hard for me to remember that agitation is a state, a temporary state. I just know that I don’t like not knowing, so I often make any decision rather than just allowing myself to feel agitated. She encourages us to just watch the agitation inside us, rather than identifying with it. Immediately I felt better when I could do this.

She then shared that deep within each of us, the very core of us, is peace. I know this place well. This place is home, she said, and our lives are simply a continuous process of leaving and returning to home.

Home.

For me, this is both literal and symbolic. We all know what home feels like – the place we live that feels safe, comfortable, and beautiful. Sometimes I feel like I just want to stay in my home and never leave, especially here in Sao Paulo. At home, I am buffered from all the things that frustrate and hurt me. But I know on a deep level that staying home forever is not possible. I have to leave even if just to re-stock the shelves of the pantry. It’s funny, because I have often contemplated becoming a hermit, thinking I would enjoy it. And maybe I would.

But maybe the purpose of my life IS to leave home and return home. To the home within myself-that place of stillness and peace; I now know I cannot dwell there forever either. Life pulls me out of it, and when I experience stress and frustration then I know it’s time to return home. Sometimes returning home is only a deep breath or Nia practice away, and sometimes it’s weeks of agitation. Either way the destination is the same, and I have made the journey once more. Who knows? Maybe someday I will learn to enjoy the journey rather than resist it.

Stepping Through the Threshold of 2012

Stephanie — Tue, 03 Jan 2012 14:00:22 GMT

Now that I am back home in Sao Paulo, I have resumed my morning ritual of reflection, and have been contemplating a lesson from “The Book of Awakening” for January 2^nd. In it a story is shared about a man who is hell bent on painting his studio; he mixes the paint, gathers the materials he needs, and goes to his studio. As he approaches the doorway, he realizes that with 2 cans of paint in his hands, brush in his mouth, drop cloth under his arm that he can’t open the door. In his stubbornness to put anything down, he tries to open the door with his foot, and ends up falling and spilling his paint, and of course dropping everything anyway.

The lesson asks us to consider putting down what we are carrying to be able to open the next door. It seems I am offered the opportunity to do this time and time again – to put down everything to open the door and then pick up only what is needed to move forward. And often, like now, I fail to do this and try to bring it all with me anyway. Since I have recently found myself laying on the ground, with everything scattered around me, I am asking myself, “What do I need to take with me to go through this door?”

I actually DID put everything down when I moved back to Michigan from California. And I had the opportunity to ask myself this when we first moved to Sao Paulo. But stubbornly I wanted to HURRY and teach Zumba, HURRY and get a life, HURRY and meet people. And I missed an opportunity to contemplate the threshold and take only what I needed.

So here I am.

Since it’s the beginning of the New Year, I am taking this new opportunity to ask and LISTEN to what the answer is – “What do I need to take with me to go through this door?” I’ll let you know what I discover….

Warning! This Is a Rant....

Stephanie — Sat, 10 Dec 2011 22:15:36 GMT

When something happens once, it’s an occurrence. Twice, my radar goes up. Three times – it’s now a pattern. And I am certainly noticing a pattern here about UN-dependability in general. Actually, this is the most frustrating thing about my life here in Sao Paulo right now.

I don’t think I am normally sensitive to people being undependable – I usually avoid them as soon as I figure out that they are. But here, I would be a hermit if I did that. More than the “Te ligo” syndrome where people say they will call you and they don’t, un-dependability here is taken to a new level. I have seldom made plans with someone here that they didn’t postpone or cancel. Seriously. Often more than once. And a lot of the time, it just never ends up happening at all.

It happens to me almost every day. This week alone (alright, one of the worst) I had 3 postponements of lunches or coffees (some for the second time!), and 2 different people canceled on me after having committed to teach my Zumba classes while I am in the U.S.!

I really didn’t think I was sensitive to the imperfections of people, but I am seriously fed up right now. I honestly think that it is culturally acceptable here in Sao Paulo (can only speak from my experience here) to commit to something and then just cancel, change your mind, get a better offer, etc. Clearly we have different definitions of commitment operating.

What is my lesson here? To learn to only depend on myself? I’ve already been there, and I really prefer collaborating, supporting, lifting each other up. But honestly, it’s just not happening here. Makes becoming a hermit look pretty good….

P.S. Okay, after my massage, I feel much better. But I am still sharing this because it is the truth of my experience right now. It isn't pretty, or enlightened, but it's true.

Friends in Low Places...

Stephanie — Mon, 28 Nov 2011 13:33:44 GMT

I seem to be in a learning space about friendship recently (and not the fun kind of learning, either). I have been struggling to make new REAL friends (vs. nice acquaintances) since moving to Sao Paulo, which has had me pondering the whole concept of friendship.

What I am learning about myself so far – I don’t need many true friends, but feel very loyal and want to feel deeply connected to the ones I have. I want to be able to truly let my hair down, answer the door in pajamas, and share my deepest secrets (yes, I do have a couple). It’s not easy for me to make true friends, because I am in truth an introvert, which means I’d prefer to be sought out rather than to seek. It feels like a lot of WORK to form a new friendship, kind of like dating, and to be honest, I am kind of tired of trying right now. But if I don’t try, I feel alone in this big, big city.

I’ve also learned that I have deeply imbedded in me one of the first things we learn in Nia training: being impeccable with our words. Unfortunately for me, that principle is almost non-existent in the Sao Paulo culture, where “Eu te ligo” or “I’ll call you” is basically a meaningless expression. In my world, “I’ll call you” means that I will indeed call you. I have embraced this Nia principle in my life, and didn’t realize until I moved to Sao Paulo that I also value it in others. I have been disappointed SO many times here, by both Brazilians and Expats who have apparently embraced the culture here, where saying you’ll do something doesn’t mean you’ll do it. So, I have chosen to surround myself with a few people that I can count on, which I know limits me, but honestly I just don’t want to live my life any other way.

So I find myself now in a place of having acquaintances, and possibly some budding friendships after being here almost 9 months. Most days I’m okay with it, and some days I just need to call my mom and cry. This too shall pass…

Mastery Calling....

Stephanie — Tue, 15 Nov 2011 17:56:46 GMT

I have been VERY fortunate lately to be in the presence of Masters of their craft, namely Zumba and Nia, and I have been pondering why this lights me up! In both cases, I took classes from teachers who embody what they teach, which was very powerful for me to experience.

I love taking classes from other teachers who inspire me, make me want to be better, and help me identify how I can improve my own teaching. In my opinion, this is part of the road to mastery of anything – learning from others who are ahead of me on the road. I LOVE this – I always leave so inspired and ready to up my own ante.

In the Zumba class I took from Zumba Jammer Lisa Marie Torres, I saw how she effortlessly commanded the energy of the entire class in a variety of ways: she removed all breaks between songs, creating a seamless transition of music, she taught facing a variety of directions, depending on how easily we could catch on to a new move, and she used the whole room, making contact with each student during the class.

In the Zumba class I took from Zumba Education Specialist Karla Mead, I saw how to effectively break down moves, introducing either arms or feet first so students can build the moves during the song. I also experienced some great new songs that I can almost immediately add to my repertoire because of her effective teaching and simple choreography.

Finally, in the Nia classes I recently took from Next Generation Trainer Kelle Rae Oien, I really GOT for the first time the power of music in a class. She has a talent for leading the energy of the class seamlessly through music choice, varying intensity, mood, and vibe perfectly so that I just lost myself in the movement. She calls it “not frying people’s nervous systems” by varying the intensity of the music, although she may still use intense moves. Additionally, I experienced the most athletic Nia class of my life, which was very appropriate for the audience we had, and I was so excited to experience the power of Athletic Nia. I have always wanted more athleticism for myself and to deliver more to my students, and Kelle showed me how to achieve that and still stay true to Nia.

So now, here I am, totally fired up in a location that doesn’t offer many opportunities for me to be exposed to mastery in these 2 modalities. I am going to ration out my enthusiasm so it will last until I return home to the U.S. for Christmas, where I can again drink from the wellspring of Mastery.

My Mantra

Stephanie — Sun, 06 Nov 2011 15:41:30 GMT

I have often felt the urgencies of life keenly, and made decisions based on fear of missing an opportunity or of disappointing another. These decisions often led to my own and others’ suffering. I believed I needed to make things happen, and that if I didn’t they wouldn’t happen. So when faced with a decision I pondered, made pro/con lists, and worried about the decision and the outcome. I was uncomfortable with NOT knowing, which compelled me to decide.

The first time I made a decision from a different place was when I left my job in California to move back to Michigan to be with my husband. It occurred after the radical awakening I experienced there, so I was open to seeing things differently. I began to feel, in my body, that this stage of my life was ending, that I wouldn’t be in California forever as I had once thought. Rather than resisting that knowing, I was able to allow it to just be there. How interesting I thought to myself. No action needed. I shared this realization with my husband and told him I did not know how much longer I would be in California. I sat with that small seed of knowing, and for a month nothing changed. I still felt entirely engaged in my job and my life, but could see that something else was on the horizon, approaching.

That small seed of knowing took root, and after a particularly dysfunctional company retreat a few weeks later I woke up the next morning, sat up in bed and knew I was leaving NOW. There was no decision. No pondering, no worries, just pure clarity. No guilt, no blame, just clarity. I went in the next day and told my employers that I was leaving and offered a long transition since it was a sudden decision. It ultimately was one of the best decisions I have made in my life for myself.

Since then, I have tried to live my life without the belief, “I need to make a decision,” because I have experienced life when the decision makes itself, and it is much easier. I have learned that I cannot force clarity before its time. My mantra has become, “I only act from clarity,” and I try to remind myself of this whenever the compulsion to decide comes.

A Morning Routine

Stephanie — Mon, 24 Oct 2011 11:53:57 GMT

I have started my day in a variety of ways over the years, from bounding out of bed late from hitting the snooze button too many times, to meditating, to sitting in the hot tub at an ungodly hour with my husband. I have discovered through this process that how I start my day has a significant impact on not only how the rest of my day unfolds, but my how my life unfolds as well.

Several years ago, I began creating a morning spiritual practice, or sadhana, to support me in my desire to live a more authentic and peaceful life. This practice has evolved to meet my needs, and has included various types of meditation, sipping a cup of coffee watching the sunrise, yoga, drawing, and journaling morning pages. The unifying element is more important than the activity; the unifying element is aligning body, mind, emotions, and spirit to support me in my daily life.

My current routine has several components that support me:

When I first awake, I connect to the deep stillness that abides in each of us by sensing my inner body, my presence. This is a practice I started after reading, “The Power of Now,” and only takes a minute or so. It connects me deeply to the present moment and relaxes me.
I then gently rinse the sleep out of my eyes and mouth with an Ayurvedic tradition of washing face and mouth.
After that, I go to my own sacred space and read a daily lesson from “The Book of Awakening: Having the Life You Want by Being Present to the Life You Have,” by Mark Nepo. This was one of Oprah’s Ultimate Favorite Things, and I have to agree with her – it is one of mine as well. The lessons are poetic, beautifully written, thought provoking, and short. Great for a little self-reflection.
Next, I read a passage from “The Power of Now,” by Eckhart Tolle. This was the book that sparked my spiritual transformation, and I return to it because it still resonates so deeply with me and returns me to that place of utter peace and gratitude each day.
Then I capture what I am grateful for in a gratitude journal. I list at least 6-7 things for which I am grateful. In my experience, gratitude is one of the most powerful states of being, one that heals, calms, and creates more good in my life and that of others.
Finally, I spend 5 minutes doing the Nia 5 Stages, a routine that stimulates all major joints in the body, aligns chakras, creates space in the vertebrae, and prepares the body for movement throughout the day. See a video of it here.

Together this practice takes me about 30 minutes and I don’t feel like myself if I don’t do it. Sometimes I go through a phase where I abandon my sadhana for a time, and I always notice that the quality of my life very slowly but perceptibly declines without it. I start to feel dis-connected, dis-satisfied, and dis-eased in my body, mind, emotions, and spirit. So, inevitably I return, and re-connect to that which is larger than me.

3 Ways to Choose Sanity

Stephanie — Fri, 14 Oct 2011 16:20:51 GMT

Since moving to Brazil, I have had many opportunities to test and sometimes re-learn my spiritual lessons. A few years ago, I decided that I did not want to create anymore suffering for myself, and therefore for those around me. I learned that to accomplish this whenever I found myself in an undesirable situation, I had only 3 sane choices: accept it, change it, or leave it. Anything else (complaining, worrying, and any other form of negativity) only poisoned my own inner space which was then reflected to those around me. Since then, I have had many opportunities to practice this approach and have made each of these choices more than once:

Accept it – this is where I always begin. Can I accept this situation and stop resisting the reality of what already is? Much of our suffering is self-created by resisting what already IS. By accepting what is, I mean treating it as if I had chosen it myself. Moving to Brazil was NOT my first or even desired choice. But it was clear that we were supposed to come here, so I chose to accept it as if I had chosen it. On bad days, I remind myself that I know I am SUPPOSED to be here – maybe not why yet, but I embrace this choice as my own. And I often find that when I can truly accept a situation, things have a way of getting better. This alone has made my life immeasurably better.
Change it – If I can’t accept the situation, my next choice is to try to change it, without complaining. This means addressing the situation with whomever I need to, respectfully. For example, I have been taking Portuguese lessons for over 6 months and found that recently I was dreading going to my lessons 3 times per week. I realized that somehow they weren’t working for me, so I had a conversation with my instructor to help me determine what wasn’t working for me and we changed the format of my lessons to meet my evolving needs.
Leave it – finally, if I can’t accept or change the situation, I leave it, apologetically. For me, it is better than staying in negativity that I am not able to let go of. By the time I reach this stage, I know I have done my best and that leaving is the best option for me. I take responsibility for my one precious life and my inner space by saying a gracious NO. When I quit my job in California to return home to Michigan, this was where my decision came from. I spoke what was true for me, tried my best to minimize suffering of those involved, and left in peace and complete clarity.

The knowledge of these 3 choices is powerful. Without it, we can feel lost, adrift, or in a downward spiral of negativity when things don’t happen the way we want them to. And I do believe that reducing my own suffering has a major impact on those around me, for when I am suffering I have little capacity to be empathetic, generous, and present with others.

The Top 3 Things I've Had to Overcome to Enjoy Living in Sao Paulo...

Stephanie — Fri, 30 Sep 2011 16:04:59 GMT

Okay, so we’ve been here now for 6 months. Our next door neighbors just received their shipment of household goods yesterday, which made me realize how far my life has come since we arrived. I really had no idea that the transition would take SO long to begin to have what feels like a real life here, but somehow I’ve managed to adapt and now have begun really enjoying my life.

But I do mean ADAPT, and that began with a CHOICE to enjoy living here. There are many expats who don’t, and I didn’t want to be one of them. However, here are the top 3 things I’ve had to overcome to enjoy life here:

The Brazilian concept of time – Brazilians take fashionably late to a new level. Traffic is horrible here, but I sometimes think they use it as an excuse. To maintain my sanity, I avoid doing things with people who are consistently REALLY late. Also, nobody is really in a hurry to do anything, very different from my American approach. Until I surrendered to Brazilian timing, I only frustrated myself and those around me trying to change what can’t be changed. And, after an unacceptably long time for me, things are starting to happen here for me! I’m teaching Zumba classes, and getting calls about more classes (but I’m very careful to adopt a “we’ll see” attitude to avoid returning to the frustrated phase of my transition).
A different level of civilization – I’ve had numerous conversations with my Portuguese teachers about this topic. In general, there’s a prevalent lack of respect for others in Sao Paulo culture (maybe it’s true in any big city?). For example, walking on the sidewalk here, many people who approach you do NOT give way or make space for you to pass. They just keep walking. As in right into you. The first time this happened to me, I was shocked! Get them behind the wheel of a car, and it just gets worse. I suspect a significant portion of traffic here is due to people doing whatever they want on the road as opposed to what makes sense and is civilized. Basically, it’s jungle rules; you can turn from any lane, stop in the middle of the road to talk to someone, create lanes where there are none, and run others off the road. I’ve learned to drive very vigilantly, but never in a hurry.
Loss of a Sense of Personal Safety – This is something I completely took for granted living in small town Midland, Michigan. One of those things that you don’t know you miss until it’s gone. It’s like you can never fully relax here, because you need to be vigilant of your surroundings at ALL times to prevent being robbed or potentially kidnapped. Most of the people I’ve met here that have been here very long have had something stolen (car, wallet, watch, etc.) For that reason, the locals here think I’m crazy to walk to my Portuguese lessons, but I have realized that I need the fresh air and to walk. I’ve just learned how to be VERY aware of who is around me, to blend in, and to heed my intuition. Driving at night is so dangerous that it is socially acceptable to run stoplights, creating yet another set of issues. We are extremely lucky to have a bulletproof car, which is an experience in and of itself. I love that car WAY beyond what a person should, but it ensures my safety as long as follow the rules of driving it (never EVER roll the windows down).

And five other minor annoyances that still get me sometimes:

Unpredictable supply at the grocery store- we have learned to stock up because you never know when the grocery store will have your favorite product or not!
Noise – at first this was a bigger issue for me – horns, dogs, airplanes, trucks, some bizarre bird that I still can’t determine what it is or where it lives – I started using a white noise machine to sleep at night, which has helped a lot!
Hang-ups – a holdover from earlier times, when people call you on the cell phone here they won’t leave a message because then they have to pay for the call. They let it ring 2-3 times and then hang up before the voice mail kicks in!
Lack of good Mexican food – this one almost made it to the Top 3! I really, really miss Mexican food…margaritas not so much, because caipirinhas have taken their place as my favorite drink.
Traffic – this could easily be in the Top 3, but we have arranged our lives so that we avoid most of the traffic that others experience. We chose a house that is located less than 10 minutes to the office for Luis, with little to no traffic. We usually only go out on weekends, when the city streets are empty. Of course, sometimes the city gets it revenge, as the only thing more unpredictable than grocery store supplies is the traffic. One day your way is clear, the next you can sit without moving for half an hour, for no apparent reason.

My life here is VERY different than the one I lived in Michigan, however I am viewing it as an opportunity to explore a different lifestyle – and am loving getting to dress up and go out to an endless supply of great bars and restaurants and museums…

It's Not a Matter of Willpower...

Stephanie — Fri, 23 Sep 2011 21:06:43 GMT

I recently returned from vacation, happily having completely wiped out all my prior detox benefits. I returned feeling sluggish, bloated, and blah, albeit more relaxed. I wondered, why do I do this to myself? It’s like I sometimes throw everything out the window, after having worked so hard to get to a good place…

Luckily I happened to be reading a brand new book on the science of change, “Change Anything.” It’s by the same guys who wrote the Crucial series (Conversations, Confrontations), in which I am trained.
Know what I learned? According to the newest behavioral science on personal change, in most cases we are blind and outnumbered when it comes to changing our habits long term. That’s why diets don’t work long term, rehab often doesn’t work long term, etc. Turns out it’s NOT a matter of willpower – there are actually six sources of influence affecting our behaviors, most of which we are not even aware of! That makes us blind. And even when we try to change, we are usually outnumbered, because often willpower is our only tool, and that makes us outnumbered, as that is only one of the six sources.

So, after studying this fascinating book, I am now creating my comprehensive change plan to lose the 10 lbs. I gained back on vacay and keep it off long term. I am learning to use ALL my sources of influence in my FAVOR, instead of against me!

If you are interested in learning more, go to http://www.changeanything.com/home and watch the Science video on the experiment performed at the Change Anything Labs on influencing kids to spend their money versus saving it. Cute but powerful!

If you have tried unsuccessfully to change a habit, maybe this is something to explore? What could be working against you that you don't even know about?

How 9/11 Changed My Life

Stephanie — Mon, 12 Sep 2011 15:25:51 GMT

I noticed yesterday many Facebook posts about 9/11, with most saying something to the effect of “We’ll never forget” and “Honor those who died”. Beautiful sentiments and I’m sure very well intentioned. But it got me wondering if that fateful day has truly changed people, and then I contemplated how it has changed me.

The actual day of September 11th has been a hallmark for me for 18 years, as it is my anniversary with my husband. We always used to joke that we’d never forget our anniversary, given the 9-1-1 date. For the first few years after 9/11/2001, it felt weird for us to celebrate, but we tried to anyway.

In many ways, 9/11 was a catalyst for me. Before 9/11, I had a distant relationship with God, not giving much thought to life’s meaning for me. After 9/11, I went searching for answers. Answers to why it happened, and how it happened. Answers to what it meant for me personally. What I discovered was that without a belief in something larger than myself, catastrophes like 9/11 made me feel small, powerless, and afraid.

So I went searching for God again, by visiting the church in Detroit where Marianne Williamson was the spiritual director. I had read her book, “A Return to Love,” and it resonated with me. She spoke often about “A Course in Miracles,” a self-study spiritual curriculum that aims at assisting readers in achieving spiritual transformation. The book describes a non-dualistic philosophy of forgiveness and includes what are meant to be practical lessons and applications for the practice of forgiveness in one's daily life. Marianne’s sermons inspired me and comforted me, and I began to seek out a relationship with God again.

After some time, I actually did “A Course in Miracles” myself, a one-year endeavor, and found that it powerfully changed my beliefs. I learned about the concept of the ego, and personally witnessed what my life is like with it in charge. Since then, I have expanded greatly my concept of God, based on a radical spiritual awakening I experienced 4 years ago while living in California.

So, in essence, 9/11 changed the trajectory of my life, although I personally knew no one who perished. I allowed it to change me, to follow the message I heard from what occurred. And that message has led me to a deeper spirituality and connection to God and my fellow humans.

How about you? How did 9/11 change you?

Driving Me Crazy

Stephanie — Wed, 31 Aug 2011 21:56:44 GMT

So today I went to take my medical exam to get my Brazilian Driver’s License. This is the last of the bureaucracy (that I know of) that I need to take care of to live in Brazil. If you are asking why you need a medical exam for a drivers’ license in Brazil, then you clearly are not aware of the industry that is medical exams here. You need a medical exam for most things you want to do to live here: get a job, join a gym, get a driver’s license, go to college….the list is long!

I recently had to go through a medical exam to be hired by the gym where I’ll teach Zumba and hopefully Nia. This exam was a joke. The doctor basically examined my questionnaire and sent me on my way (of course after I waited an hour to meet with her).

So today, I was expecting more of the same. I was relieved when I arrived at the clinic and there was no one in front of me in line. The friendly receptionist took all my documents (this list is long too!), and had me sign at least 8 different sheets of paper (which I would soon discover were the separate parts of the exam.) She then led me to another room where she handed me a test. A TEST?!?! No one told me there was a test! It basically had 40 pages of symbols, and on each page I was to choose the correct symbol to complete the puzzle.

Crap! I was already exhausted, having not slept well due to thunderstorms and too many glasses of wine while out with my friend Courtney. Now I was expected to complete what turned out to be several different intelligence tests. At first, the answers were easy, but I soon discovered the puzzles became progressively harder. By question #27 I found myself flipping through the remaining questions in bewilderment. How did this apply to getting a drivers license???

When I finally completed my puzzle test, a nice lady who turned out to be the psychologist came in and gave me another kind of puzzle to keep me busy while she graded my first one. In this test, I had to look at a set of symbols and go through about 50 rows marking all the symbols that were the same as the originals. This time she only gave me 5 minutes!

Thank god for yoga – my concentration allowed me to complete this test in 4 minutes. Then, because I think she just wanted to challenge me, she gave me a harder one, saying, “You only have 4 minutes to finish this one.” On this page were various road signs with numbers between 1 – 50 and I had to sequentially mark each number in order. Luckily, my concentration won again and I impressed her by finishing in less than 4 minutes.

By this time I think she just wanted to study me, so she took me to another room where she began conversing with me, asking me questions about my diet, my hobbies, my education, my profession (all in Portuguese, mind you.) How nice! I thought, hoping we were going to finish soon. Then I noticed that she was making notes on another sheet I had signed, and I realized that she was INTERVIEWING me to determine my mental state! This wasn’t a nice conversation! This was an evaluation!

During my interview we discovered that we actually have a lot in common, and she began telling me about her daughter who dances ballet and went to New York. We compared detox diets and our favorite smoothie recipes. I’m pretty sure this was not part of the exam.

Then, having disarmed me, she administered a set of bizarre tests of my hand/eye coordination, making me replicate a variety of different lines while she blocked my view of my hand. She claimed that she could discern from this test whether a person was depressed or anxious. She told me I did well, although she carefully hid the results from me.

Finally, she seemed satisfied that I was not too crazy to drive. To which I responded, don’t you have to be a little crazy to drive here? And she responded ironically that she’s too afraid to drive here and hasn’t in years!

Then she told me to go upstairs to see the doctor. By this time, quite honestly, I was expecting to receive a gynecological exam. Luckily the doctor only asked me a few questions, took my blood pressure, and tested my vision. He sent me back downstairs with my results, which were verified and I was finally sent on my way, AFTER 2.5 HOURS OF TESTING THERE!

After I walked out the door, I realized I was completely exhausted – both from speaking Portuguese the entire time and from being unexpectedly and rigorously tested in so many areas. I couldn’t believe what I’d just been through – something akin to being tested to be a Federal Agent, I imagined. But at least it made for a great blog!!

Taking on All That's Around Me

Stephanie — Sat, 20 Aug 2011 20:34:42 GMT

I recently discovered something powerful about myself. I’ve always known that I am an introvert, meaning that I gather energy by being alone, but recently I also discovered that I’m an empathic emotional personality. This helped explain my avoidance of crowds, noise, and negative energy. What I discovered about myself is that I have a tendency to absorb the energy around me, positive or negative.

To feel centered in our crazy world, I need to learn to set boundaries and honor that truth. Whatever others feel, I feel much more strongly at times. Negativity, noise, and fear feel like an exhaustive assault to me. I think that's why moving to the giant city of Sao Paulo has felt like such an adjustment for me. Therefore I have learned to counter these things with lots of quiet time to restore my balance. I have also learned to say “No” to things that don’t feel right for me.

Learning this about myself has helped me develop strategies to honor and take care of myself. Could you be an empath too? Answer the following questions:

•   Have I been labeled as “too emotional” or “sensitive”?
•   If a friend is distraught, do I start feeling it too?
•   Are my feelings easily hurt?
•   Am I emotionally drained by crowds and require time alone to revive?
•   Do my nerves get frayed by noise, smells, or excessive talk?
•   Do I prefer taking my own car places so that I can leave when I please?
•   Do I overeat to cope with emotional stress?
•   Am I afraid of becoming engulfed by intimate relationships?

If you answered yes to more than three of these questions, you have found your emotional personality. For more information on this and the other emotional personalities, pick up the book, “Emotional Freedom: Liberate Yourself from Negative Emotions and Transform Your Life,” by Judith Orloff.

Making My Peace with Zumba

Stephanie — Mon, 08 Aug 2011 14:34:43 GMT

My tenuous relationship with Zumba began when I counted the difference in the number of students between local Zumba classes and my Nia classes. I admit I felt envious of the number of people Zumba seemed to reach. I had tried it myself before certifying in Nia, and before Zumba was such a phenomenon; I chose Nia because Zumba seemed one-dimensional and lacked the depth that Nia brought to my life. I dismissed it as such.

Then it became a phenomenon. I began to envy its success, yet kept telling myself that I didn’t see why people loved it so much! I went to one local teacher’s class who regularly has 150 students, and was in awe at what her students would suffer through in order to do her class (no air conditioning, long lines, crowds, etc.) Undeniably she was a great teacher, but still….

At one point I attempted to “Zumba-fy” my Nia somewhat, but that felt unfulfilling as well. I was trying to be something I wasn’t. Finally, I surrendered and just kept doing my own thing in Nia.

Then we received the news last December that we were being transferred to Sao Paulo, Brazil. On our house-hunting trip I sought both Nia and Zumba classes and was not surprised to discover that Nia did not exist, and VERY surprised to discover that essentially Zumba didn’t either. I found one local teacher only, and went to her class. I also saw a huge opportunity, because I believed that Zumba would be very successful in Brazil when it arrived. I also knew that Zumba was taught with visual vs. verbal cues, which meant that I didn’t need to speak Portuguese to teach it.

I reservedly signed up to get certified. Prior to going, I started going to various Zumba classes to see if my old assumptions were possibly incorrect. Unfortunately I discovered many poor Zumba teachers (not able to cue or keep a beat, low energy, etc.) I went to my training with little hope.

My trainer led us through a master class to begin our day, and it was the best Zumba class I’ve ever attended. Suddenly I felt SO inspired! If I could teach like her…then THAT would be something! For the first time I got why people love Zumba – it was SO fun, and Zumba had changed – now there was much more than just the salsa and meringue and cha-cha. There was Reggaeton, and Bollywood and Belly!

I learned so much from my Zumba trainer that has made me a better movement teacher overall. Sometimes I’ve felt in Nia that our approach is a little serious and “this is what’s good for you” and Zumba I think is better at giving people what they want – fun. Zumba has stretched me as a Nia teacher to create more lightness and fun and less seriousness in my classes. Additionally, the approach to music and playlists in Zumba is lighter and less serious too. This has helped me stretch outside my Nia routine box to play more with music and creating my own routines in Nia, which as a Blue Belt I have the skills to do. To create a great connection with students, Zumba advises teaching while facing them, even with a mirror. Not all Zumba teachers do it. I do. In Nia, I did it very little. I have begun experimenting with facing students more, which feels a little strange in Nia, but I can feel a different kind of connection with students. Finally, the cueing in Zumba is supposed to be mostly visual – the focus is on dancing to the music. This made me realize that I talk more than is necessary in my Nia classes, and I have begun speaking less and dancing more.

The learning has not been all one way, however. I am so glad to have my foundation in Nia for teaching Zumba. I can see the multitude of potentials for injuries and burnout in Zumba, much more than in Nia. I teach Zumba without the fastest music and without a lot of jumping because that feels better to my own body. I also simplify the choreography a lot, based on the words of my Zumba trainer – “People want to feel successful. If they can follow you, they will feel successful and come back for more. If they can’t they probably won’t.” Finally, I add a small element of FreeDance, and sometimes a whole Nia song in my Zumba classes, especially during the cool down. The element of joy, I believe, comes in letting go just a little bit, and experiencing a moment of freedom, which is the hallmark of Nia. My intention is that my students in both Nia and Zumba experience fun, joy, and relaxation while getting a great workout.

Eating Well Recipe...Clean Energy Smoothie

Stephanie — Thu, 04 Aug 2011 14:56:19 GMT

If you change nothing else, simply opting for a nutrient-dense liquid breakfast and eating a lighter dinner can change your life… My personal favorite from the clean program, this smoothie fuels me for hours and tastes great!

Ingredients

¼ cup almond butter
1 teaspoon ground cardamom (optional)
1 cup frozen mango
1 ½ cups pure water or almond milk
1Tbsp. ground flax seed for fiber

Preparation
Blend all ingredients together until smooth. Makes 1-2 servings. I make it one morning, and finish it the next.

The Princess and the Pea

Stephanie — Tue, 12 Jul 2011 00:57:14 GMT

Maybe it’s my age, but I must admit I’ve become a real sleep diva in the past few months. It started with our mattress a few years ago – I am now addicted to a Tempur-pedic and have a hard time sleeping on anything else. Next came the quest for the perfect sheets. I found those online at Ru-Val linens – the softest sheets I have ever slept on. Finally, I needed the perfect pillows – 2 for my head and 2 bolsters for each side to feel really cozy and supported.

Then, I began to notice that I was sleeping much lighter than I used to, waking up with small noises (although my husband’s occasional snoring cannot, under any circumstances be considered a small noise!). I tried earplugs, but they hurt my ears after a few hours, which also woke me up. I tried another style of earplugs that cover your ears, but those left my ears sweaty, which was just gross.

I had no issues falling asleep, but couldn’t stay asleep. This had never happened to me before. And I got to see what life is like sleep-deprived. I don’t see how people can do it. I am completely irritable and unfocused with less sleep than I need (and I need a good 8 hours). Thus, I began my search for a good night’s sleep.

Our move to Sao Paulo did not help. I slept outside my own bed for over 3 months, in a variety of different locales. Each place I slept gave me new challenges in getting a good night’s sleep. At my dad’s house, my stepmom introduced me to a white noise machine, to which I am also addicted now. I discovered lavender spray at the spa, which I also use to induce a restful night. I cried, literally, when our bed finally arrived in Brazil, and I had my first night of good sleep in months.

And, ultimately the CLEAN program was the final straw. It seems that what I eat DOES make a difference in how I sleep (no alcohol is best, but who wants to live like that all the time?)

Which all means that I have become a sleep diva. Each night, the ritual to get good sleep begins and I hope for the best. Sometimes it works, and sometimes it doesn’t. But I feel validated now – I am reading the book “Emotional Freedom” by Judith Orloff and in her section about the power of dreams she advocates taking whatever steps you need to get good rest, including many of the ones I now make.

Does this make me a real princess? I’ve always wanted to be one…